is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
