i just had sex bonerless
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
