Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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