My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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