All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
