I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
