no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize