Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
