dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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