also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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