i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
