Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
