okay pat passed out under dana's car
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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