Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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