hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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