i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
