I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
