Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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