from now on my penis is your penis
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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