I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
