dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
