It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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