I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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