I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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