Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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