If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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