am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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