every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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