Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize