So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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