Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
