his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
