if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
