ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
