Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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