Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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