Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
