You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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