I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Less talking, more tequila
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
