I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
