well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
