I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
