Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize