I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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