everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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