She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
