i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize