I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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