dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize