He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
