He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
