I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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