My friends, they love my intelligence
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
