Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
