So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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