Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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