Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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