Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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