Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
