he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
