It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
