I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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